Finding Myself In You
by CoolMintFire
Summary: Dean, Sam and Cas are hunting together again, but this issue will be a lot harder to shake. Especially with Cas maybe wanting to keep them around. Slight Destiel... not enough to get me into trouble. Not a lot of romance in general. This is gonna be sad, I won't lie. Good luck, and forgive me.
1. Chapter 1

Dean slammed the trunk shut, wincing at the way the metal didn't quite fit together anymore. God, he would have to fix that. He patted the still-warm aluminum in a comforting manner as he looked up at the large house he was parked outside of. Sam would have called it "Victorian-classic", but Dean was sticking to "a damn big house". Cas was pulling himself out of his pimpmobile, which Dean had gotten fixed while Cas had been on trial after the world calmed down. Thank whatever God was up there that Cas inherently knew how to control the car. He hadn't known the rules of the road, or how to drive stick. Both responsibilities fell to the elder brother, as he could no longer fly. The court had found him guilty, and ordered him to serve as a human with the Winchesters.  
Him and Castiel shared a level gaze, one quickly broken when Sam called out of the front door.  
"C'mon, you two! Decide whether you're going to kiss or not. We have a nest to get rid of."

They all sat in the stuffy living room of a shaken woman as the same old story fell from her lips. She saw a man pull a girl into an alley, seconds later the girl is ravenous with ungodly teeth. Sam smiled when he was supposed to, and hummed in agreement when he thought it necessary. Dean, however, was less experienced with the "people" aspect of the hunt. He sat back, gladly picking the finger sandwiches from the plate and stuffing them into his mouth. Cas was staring intently at the hamster cage sitting on the coffee table. There was a hesitation about him, as if he was thinking about asking for a hamster for the bunker. Of course not, hamsters smell and they need food-  
Castiel stiffened as he looked up the seemingly ancient staircase to a girl who was looking down at them. She was thin, and peeking out from behind a wall. Cas felt a certain pain emanating from this human, and softly bumped his knee against Dean's. Dean followed his gaze to the girl and they exchanged silent conversation. It was time for the Cinderella method.  
"Are there any other witnesses? Were you walking with a family member or someone else we can question?" Dean put on his most personable appearance.  
"No, I was walking alone."  
Cas stared, confused at the girls presence. He was never one for subtlety, so it was not a surprise when the woman followed his gaze to the girl.  
"Ok agents, I think I'm done for today. I have a nail appointment soon that I REALLY need to be there for," the woman shuffled them towards the door. Dean caught her looking up disdainfully at the stairs. The moment that they were pushed out of the house, they heard the door slam and lock. They began down the sidewalk when Cas stopped and grabbed Dean's arm.  
"Dean, we need to get back into that house."  
Dean was about to make a joke about the hamster when a scream emanated from the house. Sam spun and bolted towards the house, immediately slamming into the door, gun already pulled. The door splintered and cracked as it swung open. He bounded up the stairs, three at a time as the other men followed him. Sam stopped at a closed bedroom door, but Cas barreled into it without hesitation. He had his handgun pointed straight at the woman, who clutched the young girls thin wrist. There wasn't any blood other than the small amount dripping from the girl's nose. Dean shoved between the woman and the girl, restraining the woman as Sam rushed forward to the teen. She looked quite weak, and he didn't think she could run. He looked at the woman being held by Dean before lifting the girl up and handing her to Castiel.  
"Take her to the Impala. It has a bigger backseat. I'll be out there in a minute."  
Cas took the girl. She weighed almost nothing as he awkwardly carried her downstairs. She looked nearly unconscience, a large bloody bruise resting on her temple. The men were still stirring above him, exchanging loud words with her mother. Castiel never understood this aspect of humanity. He understood true evil, and it's motives, but hitting children had always been a source of confusion.

She winced at the sunlight, and Cas got the impression that she didn't get out into it often. When he set her in the back of the Impala, he saw dark bruises contrasting the paleness of her skin. He opened the back door facing the house and sat in the seat, making sure the door didn't close.  
He looked over at the girl struggling to stay awake.  
"I-I'm Castiel. Those other men are Sam and Dean. We're going to get you help."  
He tried to smile awkwardly, following the human custom of 'manners'.  
Her eyes widened. "Don't take me to the hospital."  
"It would... be advisable for you to have medical attention."  
"I can't. They'd take me away."  
Castiel didn't have a chance to ask before the broken door of the house opened and Sam stepped out with a large bag inscribed 'Party Gurl!'.  
"This isn't exactly my style. It's for her."  
He gestured to the girl slumped over in the seat.  
"She's going to the hospital." Sam said, with a finality unlike him.  
Dean came out of the house with the woman screaming behind him.  
"Fine, take her then! Tell that harlot she isn't allowed to live here anymore."  
Dean also held a bag, and a pillow tucked under his arm. A stuffed rabbit dangled from his hand. Cas jumped as the girl collapsed against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Sams eyes widened at the realization that she was unconscience.  
"Dean, get in the car! Cas, we'll come back for yours. Go to the hospital!"  
Dean threw the bag at Sam's feet and tossed the pillow and rabbit to Castiel. Sam spun in his seat and reached back to cradle the girl's face, examining the bruising.  
"Seems like a nasty concussion. Hold on," he pulled a flashlight from the glove box and shone it in her eyes.  
"Yeah, her pupils aren't looking too good. Is there any way we can speed up, Dean?"  
"I'm already going ten over, Sammy. Any more and it'll draw suspicion."  
The hospital was over an hour away.  
"Can she wake back up?" Cas looked at Sam, who still had his eyes trained on her face.  
"Yeah, she probably will wake up at some point during the drive. Buckle her in, Cas. We don't need any more injuries." Cas reached around her, stretching the seat belt over her midsection and over her lap. Dean spoke up.  
"Her name is Sophia. She's sixteen, as of four weeks ago." He pulled out a birth certificate. He had thought to grab it for identification. Castiel was impressed. Then he realized.  
"Wait, sixteen? She's can't be that old."  
"Aren't human years different from what you're used to? How is sixteen old?"  
"Dean, if she IS sixteen years old, the. she's about thirty pounds underweight. Even for the thinnest body type, she's malnourished."  
"Thirty pounds? How can you tell?"  
"When I was sentenced to being a hunter, my grace was taken away... most of it. I still have the ability to sense distress and longing, though it's dampened. Also, I can use small parts of diagnosis. She's thirty pounds and four ounces underweight. She likely has difficulty moving around, and probability stands that she hasn't menstrated in-"  
"Alright Cas, Jesus. I get the picture. We're not too far now. Is she awake?"  
She was, in fact. Sophia stirred a bit as her green eyes opened and she pushed herself from Cas' shoulders. She steadied herself on the seat and looked around, seemingly remembering what happened.  
"Don't push yourself, now. You've got a pretty nasty concussion, and I'm sure a hundred other things. Cas, there's a first aid kit under my seat, could you grab it for me?" Sam was talking gently, as if a rabid cat was sitting with them.  
Cas reached under the seat and handed the white box to Sam. Sam, in turn, popped open the small clutch and pulled out saline solution and gauze. He turned completely in the seat to wipe the blood from her face, chattering about this and that. He examined her arm and deemed her wrist sprained at best, broken at worst. Sophia had chuckled as she told him she assumed the worst, with how much it hurt.  
"Ok Sophie, are you on medication?" Sam pulled a little bottle from the kit and read the small print.  
"Nothing. I do hardcore drugs, though."  
She smiled widely.

Cas' eyes widened as her grabbed her bicep and stared at her.  
"You don't seem to have any substances out of ordinance, I don't understand-" he began.  
"She was joking, Cas," Dean finally spoke up from the front seat.  
"Oh, then..." Cas smiled widely. "I think I understand. Good one."  
Cas awkwardly smiled. Sophia wasn't causing any alarm bells to go off... she seemed to be completely human. A broken, tiny human. Without realizing it, Cas brushed a hair behind her ear.  
She flinched, and Cas withdrew his hand.  
"Sorry.. I didn't kno-" Cas glanced at her sympathetically.  
"Personal space, Cas. Remember?" Dean was looking at him through the rearview. Sam reached back with a bottle of water and painkillers, telling her to take them.

When they pulled into the hospital, Sophia's breathing quickened.  
"You can't... don't make me go in there."  
Cas reached around her to unbuckle the seat belt. "I'm sorry, Sophia. You need medical attention. We can't take you with us."  
Sophia grabbed Cas' arm and looked him in the eyes. Icy blue clashed with a frenzied green.  
"They'll take me! I came from an orphanage. Living with Cheryl was my last chance. I'll have to live there for years until I'm independent!"  
Dean's eyes flicked down in the rearview, but quickly came back up.  
"You need to get help. Cas, take her."  
Dean was careful to keep his voice down. He lifted the girl out of the car, and she slumped after struggling for a few seconds.  
"I am... sorry, Sophia. This is best. You wouldn't be able to stay with us anyway." Cas sighed. The girl reminded him of Claire, and even resembled her a bit. Her face was more angular, and she was paler, but he could see the same fire in her eyes. Sam and Dean walked close behind holding her bags.  
"I don't want to go back to her." Sophia spoke in a small voice. Cas felt an ache, and he perceived it as sympathy until he realized it was coming from her. He looked again at the bruises and cuts marking almost the entirety of her skin, then quickly glanced away.  
It's just another job.  
This is best.  
Take her to the hospital, Castiel.  
The doors slid open to the ER and Castiel put her in a chair. Sam and Dean set the bags next to her, and Dean lowered to sit on his heels.  
"Hey, kid. Here's the deal," he pulled on her hand and placed a piece of paper into it.  
"If that bitch hits you again, here's a place you can lay low. A sheriff I know is running a house for wayward girls right now, both of them around your age. Call her if you need to."  
He pushed the rabbit into her side, and the men left without being seen. Before they left, Dean handed ten dollars to a man and whispered in his ear. The man stood and yelled just as the painkillers took effect on Sophia and dragged her into sleep.

Dean and Cas stood outside of the Impala as Sam checked them into the most hole-in-the-wall, no-questions-asked motel in the town.  
"I don't know if that girl will be okay." Cas said, leaning on the hood of the pimpmobile parked beside it. They had gone back to get it after the hospital incident.  
"Who, Sophia? She'll be fine."  
Dean held his hands clasped over the hood of his car.  
"It's very strange. She seemed like she wanted to stay with us."  
"Kids who are in that situation will try to stay with anyone who isn't hitting them."  
"Did John... ever hit you, Dean?" Cas stared at him, Dean fidgeting in his gaze.  
"What? No," Dean spoke while shifting from one bowlegged stance to another.  
Cas continued watching him.  
"Okay, maybe."  
Cas stared.  
"Yes, he did. But when I was misbehaving. Like, when I was at that bar, or I played outside with the other kids on the weekends." Dean shrugged.  
"Dean, I'm not up to date on human tradition... but I don't believe that a child should be struck for playing with other children."  
Dean didn't respond. Sam came stalking out of the main building, room key in hand.  
"201!" He called, and Dean began grabbing bags out of the trunk.  
"Why didn't you get two rooms?" Castiel tilted his head.  
"Oh... I forgot you need to sleep. I can take the foldout for tonight, we can get you a room in the morning."

"Sam... you won't fit on the foldout. I can take it."

"None of us will fit on the foldout. He could sleep in my bed," Dean suggested, a bit too quickly.  
"It's not like it'll be weird. He's hanging on to me all day anyway. At least he'll be sleeping instead of staring at me."  
Sam smirked at him, ignoring the shattering sound of Dean's pride.  
They had walked to the room, which Cas was struggling to open. Dean shifted the bag to his arm and grabbed the small card, flipping it and handing it back to him. Cas slid the card again and the light buzzed green.  
The men stepped into the dingy hotel room.  
"God, I miss the bunker." Dean spoke up, flopping onto the bed nearest the door. Cas sat on the edge of the same bed.  
"Do you want some time alone?" Sam's mouth was turned up in a wry smile.  
"Shut up. Go get some grease. And pie," Dean shot a glare at Cas. "And cake, I guess."  
Cas smiled. Dean didn't approve of Cas' love for cake, discovered when the other men had decided on a birthday for him.  
("I'm older than you'd ever realize, Dean. I don't know when my birthday is.")  
Sam started towards the door. He jumped back as a loud banging sound erupted from it. Pulling his gun, he checked the peephole. He looked back at Cas and Dean, confused.  
"It's Sophia."

Hello again, my lovelies! It's been FOREVER, I know. I'm back, though. With another story!

You know the drill: I don't own anything. This is a purely fictitious work.

I might have another story in the works... I'll never tell you. (I do, look out for it).

That's all, my darlings. Man, it's good to be back!

Also, I'm going to start posting to AO3 soon as well. Look for the username ActualRealLive5YrOld.


	2. Bittersweet

Sophia stood in the rain that had begun an hour before. She looked cold and miserable, holding her bags in her outstretched arms. She dropped them when the door open and collapsed against Sam.  
"Sohphia, what are you doing here? What about the hospital?" Sam patted her wet hair down as Dean grabbed her bags and shut the door.  
"I left. They were going to send me back to her, but I looked in the phone book for the nearest motels."  
Sam was walking her to a bed where she sat down.  
"How many motels did you go to?"  
"I went to three before this one. I told myself I would give up after the fifth one, but thank God you were here. I couldn't walk to two more, and-"  
"Wait, pause. You walked here?" Dean asked. He had on a paternal look that had usually been reserved for Ben.  
"I tried to hike it. It didn't work..."  
"No one picked you up?"  
"No, that wasn't the issue."  
Dean surveyed the state she was in. He thought she looked miserable because of the rain, but now he saw her torn sleeve and stretched neckline. A scrape rested at the juncture of her neck.  
"Why don't you go and get cleaned up? Warm shower should help you." Dean smiled warmly and pulled her up by the hand. She limped to the bathroom, and the men waited until they could hear water running before they began talking.  
"Dean, don't get too attached. She's going back to the hospital tomorrow," Sam was clenching his teeth.  
"I don't know, Sam. Maybe... we should keep her around. I mean, we can't just leave her somewhere. She could stay in the bunker." Dean gestured to the room.  
"Can you hear yourself, Dean? She's not staying! She can't. It's too dangerous." Sam was raising his voice more as he spoke.  
"Cas, what do you think?" Dean swung towards the former angel, who had been silent.  
"I think we should keep her around. Dean may be good at cooking, but cleaning is an issue. Some things can't get done before we leave, and she could be there to handle it."  
"Cas, you sure about this?" Sam looked as though he was hoping that Cas would say no.  
"Sophia... Doesn't have anyone to care for her. Now that we've been associated, she could be in danger-"  
"Why would I be in danger?" Sophia asked, swinging the bathroom door open.  
The men jumped. She was in pajamas, with her damp hair hanging at her shoulders.  
"The shower is amazing, by the way. But back to my question. Why would I be in danger?"  
"You see, Sophia... we aren't FBI agents." Sam began.  
"Well, duh. You can tell. I'm pretty sure FBI has hair length requirements. So, what are you?"  
"We're hunters. We deal with the evil crap in the world, and sometimes... we are the evil crap in the world." Dean was making unshaken eye contact.  
"Should I be scared of you?"  
"I think you should be... we were wondering why you weren't." Dean said, almost half smiling.  
"I think I'm going to stay more towards Sam." She shifted over a bit, trying to escape the prolonged eye contact.  
"Don't look at me, I'm against you staying with us. You could get seriously hurt." Sam rested a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to the hospital? There's no 'maybe' in this, Sophia. I cannot guarantee your safety."  
"You realize you just quoted The Hobbit, right?" Sophia smiled widely.  
Sophia watched Dean's calm and serious facade evaporate over Sam's shoulder as he burst into laughter.  
"Where'd your beard go, Gandalf?" He wheezed out.  
Sam smiled. "I think you might actually fit in."  
Cas had been watching this transpire before he spoke up.  
"Sophia, we may not be able to ensure your safety, but I guarantee that we will protect you. The bunker is warded against anything, and virtually indetectable."  
"Why would it need to be warded?"  
"The things that would be trying to hurt you wouldn't be human."  
"So... like vampires and stuff?"  
Dean came forward a bit. "Yeah, like vampires and stuff. In fact, the reason we were here in the first place was because of a nest. I think we'll just have to get Garth to take care of it now, though. It was basically a milk run."  
"You do this all the time?" Sophia's eyes were wide, but not with fear. "Get some training and put on some weight, kid, and you'll be doing it too."

-  
Dean picked up the couch cushion and tossed it at Sam, who failed to catch it before it bounced off of his face.  
"Go get some food, Sam. You were supposed to almost an hour ago."  
"Alright, dick. Cake, pie, and... Sophia, what do you want other than a burger?"  
"I actually haven't eaten pie before. Is it good?"  
Dean's eyes widened.  
"It's the best, kid. Get three pies, Sammy. We need to teach this kid about food."  
Dean tossed Cas' keys to him and this time, Sam caught them flawlessly.  
"Cas, Sophie, we're gonna get some snacks. We've got thirty pounds gone to make up for."

They pulled into the convenience store parking lot and Dean sent the other two in as he pumped gas.  
"If it looks good, get it. Don't worry about cost, I'm getting more tomorrow anyway."  
Dean handed her a fifty dollar bill and her eyes became the size of saucers.  
"I wouldn't even know what to get with this much money," she breathed.  
"I just told you. Whatever looks good."

She walked into the supermarket and Cas grabbed a basket. He immediately loaded instant coffee, gum, toothpaste, and a six pack of the first beer he could grab.  
"We were running low, and Sam isn't even a person before his first cup of coffee," Cas explained. Sophia nodded, remembering how unbearable Cheryl could be without coffee. Sophia had never had it.  
"How about you go pick out some snacks? I can handle the grocery shopping," he patted her shoulder gently, as if he would hurt her. She stifled a flinch and smiled at him.  
She walked towards the candy and chip aisle hesitantly, then marveled at all of the colorful packaging. She wouldn't have told any of the men, but she had never been snack shopping. In fact, between school and home, she didnt go anywhere. But now she grabbed a bag of skittles and gummy worms, which caught her eyes first. She saw a bag of beef jerky and small figurines and toys beside it. Something in her said that the reason they were so prominitely displayed was so she would fall for it. She still grabbed a small stuffed horse and put it in Cas' basket. He seemed confused, but he didn't comment. Silently, she thanked him for that.  
After the basket was full of snack cakes (for Cas), single serve pies (take a guess) and dried apple crisps for Sam, they rung up the items. The teenage boy at the register looked about her age and they made small tall as he scanned the items. Dean walked in while seven things still sat at the register, done with filling up the Impala. He spotted the stuffed horse and turned to Cas, who gave him a look that Sophia could not see. Dean found the area of toys and perused it. Seemingly, he decided on three and wordlessly tossed them on the counter along with a hot pink toothbrush. The boy at the register smiled, glad to spend more time with the girl.  
Cas and Dean walked around, picking out anything Dean saw fit, keeping Sophia in their line of sight.  
"The boy at the register. He's flirting with her." Cas looked wildly uncomfortable.  
"The kid?" Dean peeked around an aisle, locating the acne-ridden teen who seemed very interested in Sophia.  
"Yeah, looks like it. Can you hear them?"  
"I can't make out words, but I know that they're speaking. Or he is, rather. She can barely get a word in."  
Dean smiled, and saw Sophia fidget. That little firecracker was probably busting at the seams to speak.  
He glanced back at Cas, who's eyes were locked on the two of them.  
"Dean," it seemed almost like a warning. He didn't even have time to register it before Sophia yelled.  
"Stop! Get away from me!"  
Cas and Dean were at the front of the small store in seconds. The boy had Sophia's wrist in his hand, and she was pulling away. Dean tore his hand from her and picked him up by the collar, throwing him up against a nearby wall.  
Sophia backed into Cas' arms.

"Sorry, is there a problem here?" His voice was low.  
Though he was pinned against the wall, the kid stared blankly at him.  
"So, Winchester. Seems like you've got a new weakness. Sure are prone to those, huh?" His eyes melted into inky black pools.

"God, she's a loud one. If she hadn't screamed, I could've taken her off your hands. Poor thing flinches so much. She'd only weigh you down."  
A manic smile spread across the demon's face. Dean allowed him to finish his spiel before he pulled the angel blade from his pocket and shifted his hands from it's collar to its throat.  
"Make your choice. Smoke out and explain to Crowley why you got caught, or die here. This may be less painful."  
"I'm sure His Majesty would be delighted to hear about your new ward. It's not often the Winchester's friends last more than a little while anyway."  
"Then I guess it's a shame that you never had a choice."  
He pulled his arm back and slammed it into the demon's throat, temporarily pinning it to the wall. An orange light flickered once, twice, then the demon went limp. Dean turned back to the other two.  
"What was that? Why did he try- why did his eyes change color?" Sophia scrambled for a question to ask.  
"He was a demon. This is what we meant about your safety." Cas was softly talking her through it.  
"A demon. So, he was trying to... kill me?"  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
"We have certain people who would much rather see us suffer than see us dead," Dean said, wiping the blade on his pant leg.  
"We can give you The Talk when we get home. We can stay at the motel tonight and leave in the morning."  
"Alright... I can handle that."  
"Great. You hungry?"  
She mustered up a smile, holding her bruised wrist.  
"Starving."

They ate at the motel, watching reruns of The Twilight Zone until 2:00 a.m. Cas and Dean sat on their bed, and Sam noticed just how little space was between them. Sam and Sophia sat on the other, Sophia close to the TV and Sam resting his back against the headboard. It wasn't until Sophia was softly snoring in time with Dean that the other two noticed the time.  
Sam poked at the young girl.  
"Sophia... go get on the foldout," Sam whispered, trying not to wake Dean up. Cas had changed into a Metallica shirt and dark pajama bottoms and slipped under the thin sheet of the bed.  
Sophia stirred, but held fast to sleep. He was picking her up to toss her onto the couch when she grabbed his shirt and curled into herself.  
"Hey, stop leeching my body heat. It's mine." He softly laughed before setting her down onto the foldout bed. He pulled the covers over her and flicked a brown hair from her face.

He was asleep when the crying started. At 3 a.m., he heard the kicking of feet under a blanket and frantic muttering. Panicked, he sat up and swung his legs off of the bed. Dean and Cas were fine, though much closer than when they had fallen asleep. So that left...  
Sophia.  
She had thrown her blanket off and was kicking the air frantically. Her head turned side to side as she gasped for air, her sleep shirt twisted around her neck. Sam walked over and untied it gently, yet she continued to thrash. Before he could step away, her eyes popped open, tears running down her face. The TV light made her eyes a burning emerald, and she threw herself at him. She buried her face in his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around her. Her shoulders shook as she hid, back turned to the rest of the room. Sam awkwardly patted her back, not understanding but willing to help. Maybe this girl was just as broken as them, who drank themselves to sleep to avoid their nightmares.  
"I know. It's okay, Sophie. Don't be scared," he thought of everything he wished his father would have said to him and repeated it to her. She was hiding her face, and he knew why. Because crying is weakness, and weakness was something punished.  
"Sorry, Sam. This is normal, sorry to bother you," Her voice was shaking, but she tried to scrub away the tears.  
"It sucks. I know it does. I won't tell you that it'll be okay, but it'll get easier." Sam patted her arm. Sophia shifted beside him and laid her head on his arm, and Sam knew that took a lot of trust. She fell asleep during Come Wander With Me, her head getting heavier on his shoulder. Sam leaned against the back of the couch as he drifted off, the song following him into sleep.


End file.
